Black People: We Have A Problem

There is some thing I MUST say. I am sick and tired of hearing black men speak against black women (this is not a pass for black women to speak against black men either-both are WRONG!)

I've heard on numerous occasions, even from people close to me, negative remarks about black women: "That attitude. She's always angry, for what? Why is nothing ever good enough? Can't she just support me in whatever I do? See that's why I want me a white/hispanic/asian woman, they KNOW how to treat a man! Nah, black women want/expect too much."

At the risk of sounding like the expectations of the ignorant I will continue. All women are beautiful, strong and hold promises of great nations within them. All women have attitudes and get angry, we all are expectant, we are women. So whether it is hidden and expressed differently makes no real difference because it is there.

What needs to be understood my black brethren is that although we are no longer in the times of 1607 (somehow it feels like we are) the sting is STILL there. You can listen to the video below and do some research to understand more.

Mind conditioning has brought us to a place of hating ourselves, though not always outright. Who would have thought that silken blonde hair weaves would be a popular thing on the continent of Africa? Bleaching skin all over the world with the excuse of 'smoothing out complexion' and 'removing blemishes'- this is a trend. Some how this has all become common place, much like the black woman bashing we hear today. Watching the video (linked below) brought up some thoughts.

A black woman's smile, is NOT contingent on her man or a man alone (as you may see referenced in similar videos like TJSotomayor's). This is not the image I got from the video of Ty Gray El's piece, I saw it as raceless in regard to the man. I do agree, however, that our smiles hinge on the completeness we as black women feel and own within ourselves. Our smiles, are often buried deep within the infrastructure of "maintaining" when odds are stacked against us. It is popular to say but is also very true that black women have more stacked against them on two levels: 1. She is a woman and 2. She is a black woman. For far too long this has been seen as a burden on us and that saddens me.

Our infamous attitudes, common to ALL WOMEN, are one of three things at any given time depending on the person: 1. Misunderstood 2. Warranted or 3. Unnecessary. While, many will choose to only agree with number three the other two must be taken into consideration.

The Unnecessary attitude is the one that happens because it is a habit, she's used to seeing it and giving it. She's been taught that this is the way you have to be in order to get things done. What bothers me is that on any other woman this is considered "spunk" "moxy" or just being "feisty" and its treated with admiration.

The Warranted attitude is one that is the fitting response to being legitimately wronged or annoyed.  Period.

The Misunderstood attitude is the one that concerns me most and whose definition has yet to be accepted. This is not an excuse of any kind. This attitude is the attitude of the mother who knows her children can do better in school and punishes them when they bring home a grade less than their abilities. This woman has heard you speak, craft tricky ways to get out of doing things, found creative legal ways to make extra cash, tally up $$ and how long it would take to have enough for those sneakers or game you wanted. She is pissed that you have decided to waste your brain power, the same brain power that powered and built nations for centuries. She has a right to want more for you; so, to stand by and watch you have no aspirations but to just get by and take the quick and easy way out gives her an ATTITUDE!

So yes, I will have an attitude and NOT smile when I see you my "brother" wasting your life. The street corners of NY have some of the very best entrepreneurs in the world who have yet to understand their own abilities and potentials if they'd only go legit! The amount of unstoppable youth our world would have if its black women would learn to love themselves outside of what the world has told them is "true beauty"- we were born with true beauty stitched into our genes- would be astounding! A woman who values her self, regardless of outside opinion rears children who do the same. So, change your look for excitement NOT for the feeling of necessity and fitting into the portrayed beauty mold. I'll say it, conformity to a lie is UGLY!

A white, hispanic or asian woman will not solve the problem you have sir. The problem you have is that you've fallen victim to laziness, you've stopped trying but still expect a pat on the back and kudos for doing what you YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD. We, as your black women should push you toward excellence as we strive for it ourselves. When we both understand the roles we play in eachother's existence that is when the Black Woman Will Smile and the Black Man Will Rise.

A Black Woman's Smile  <-- Check out this video, I am sure you've seen it before.

There is so much more I would love to say on this but I want to hear from you.

Transitions Retreat: ON MISSION... Taking Back Our Cities!

Super pumped... STILL! Where should I begin? I'd been counting down the months, weeks and days until this retreat. My first retreat with this group- Transitions: Young Adult Ministry- from Brooklyn Tabernacle. The meetings I'd attended prior were awesome so I came EXPECTANT, not of them but of God. Let me tell you, HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT! ON MISSION was held in Glen Spey, NY at Lake Champion.

The Opening Rally

We received the fire starter aka the first "ON MISSION Moment" from Pastor Rafael Castillo entitled "Shake but Don't Break". Oooo weeee, can I say that again? Oooooo weeeee! Just a snippet from my notes:

Sometimes when we are in the dark we forget what God told us in the light. God doesn't lie, so His promise IS His promise! ... You have to FEED THE FIRE...

*you'll have to email me at: silvertongued1blog@gmail.com if you want more*

ON MISSION Moment:

There's something different about today, the presence of God is felt- strongly. Mark 5. The very presence of Jesus stepping onto land let all that was not of God know it was time to go because they (it) was NOT welcomed there. Does the presence of God in our lives show? Does it cause atmospheric change (make things happen for the good)? We are challenged to leave our comfort zones... Go On Mission!

Message:

Pastor Josh Kimes from Hillsong NYC hit us hard with a message entitled "More Than Meets the Eye". Check out Nehemiah 2:17-20. So much more goes in to rebuilding a wall, a city, a relationship, a life, a career, a ministry than recognizing the ruin and stacking mere 'bricks'. Confidence needs to be rebuilt but it is not the confidence in self, it is the confidence in God. Three OUTSTANDING points were given for staying ON MISSION...

*More? email me: silvertongued1blog@gmail.com*

ON MISSION Moment: 

When you feel like you are not equipped, just know that The Lord is equipped! Just obey. (1 Samuel 15:22)

When we thought our spirits could not get lifted any higher, go any deeper, praise any harder, learn anymore Pastor Tim Ross came on the scene to challenge us to GET OUR WEIGHT UP!

His message was entitled "Strength Under Pressure". Whaaaaat?!!!!! *insert high pitch* Proverbs 24:10 says:

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.

Mind blown! Then he took it further and discussed Philippians 4 verse 13, you know you know it, the verse we have ALL quoted and misunderstood at least once. Here's the clue to understanding it, read it in context. Verses 10 through 13 go together. Paul was speaking of having experienced times of suffering, having joy, being dead broke and having abundance- it was within any of those situations he had learned that it was Jesus Christ who enabled him to be successful through it all. Yes, I said success, because success is not to be measured only by financial means but by achievement of desired outcome. In Paul's case, he had success because his life remained to preach the gospel and souls were saved. SUCCESS! So now that you know the context, can you recite the verse with the same conviction? I hope so :)

The Last Session

Pastor Todd Crews, whose wife Nicole and baby boy are super beautiful by the way, wrapped us up with "Gather, Scatter & Spread". By now my voice was almost shot but that didn't stop me from shouting and cheering. He countered our self-made excuses of boredom in and with the church or Christianity all together with charging us to be ON MISSION or stay in boredom. There is NO boredom in Christ Jesus, the boredom comes from us confining ourselves to four walls or as he creatively put it the "Holy Huddle". What in the world is the "Holy Huddle"? Ha, I'm glad you asked. Take for instance a NFL game (my favorite sport, yes yes Go Giants!), the team calls a time out, they gather to discuss plays and revamp strategy- break! They're out on the field- the game is about to begin or so you think but just then they call another time out and they do this consistently WITHOUT EVER GETTING IN THE GAME! How frustrating and boring right? Well that's what makes us bored in our Christian lives, we're in the huddle and never get in the actual game to carry out the plays!

I can tell you this, I've strapped on my helmet, knee and shoulder pads, I got my cleats and I am ready to get in the game. Like Pastor Ross said, I gotta get my weight up too, if not I will crumble like a shortbread cookie. So God is my personal trainer and I got my gear (Ephesians 6:10-17).

So many great messages, moments and experiences it is unreal but all amazing! I tried to condense it but woooo! Seriously, if there is a message that you want to read my entire notes on (it will blow your mind!) just email me at silvertongued1@gmail.com 

Did I mention that we partied like nobody's business???? "Ain't no party like a Holy Ghost party 'cause a Holy Ghost party don't... stooop!" Glow sticks, beach balls and all of that! Ziplining into the lake, tubing, swinging on a gigantic swing, canoeing, the bonfire, 'smores!... woooo I am exhausted and happy!

Leave your comments, questions, and experiences down below. I would love to read them :) Enjoy the pics!

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