You may or may not know this but I am a born again Christian. I am unashamed of that fact. That being said, this video from Billy Graham reminds me of why I serve The Lord. Words cannot begin to flow onto this screen. I am speechless and in incredible awe of the magnitude of the awesomeness of Christ Jesus and the sovereignty of Almighty God.
Take a look. Share your thoughts. God bless you :)
There is some thing I MUST say. I am sick and tired of hearing black men speak against black women (this is not a pass for black women to speak against black men either-both are WRONG!)
I've heard on numerous occasions, even from people close to me, negative remarks about black women: "That attitude. She's always angry, for what? Why is nothing ever good enough? Can't she just support me in whatever I do? See that's why I want me a white/hispanic/asian woman, they KNOW how to treat a man! Nah, black women want/expect too much."
At the risk of sounding like the expectations of the ignorant I will continue. All women are beautiful, strong and hold promises of great nations within them. All women have attitudes and get angry, we all are expectant, we are women. So whether it is hidden and expressed differently makes no real difference because it is there.
What needs to be understood my black brethren is that although we are no longer in the times of 1607 (somehow it feels like we are) the sting is STILL there. You can listen to the video below and do some research to understand more.
Mind conditioning has brought us to a place of hating ourselves, though not always outright. Who would have thought that silken blonde hair weaves would be a popular thing on the continent of Africa? Bleaching skin all over the world with the excuse of 'smoothing out complexion' and 'removing blemishes'- this is a trend. Some how this has all become common place, much like the black woman bashing we hear today. Watching the video (linked below) brought up some thoughts.
A black woman's smile, is NOT contingent on her man or a man alone (as you may see referenced in similar videos like TJSotomayor's). This is not the image I got from the video of Ty Gray El's piece, I saw it as raceless in regard to the man. I do agree, however, that our smiles hinge on the completeness we as black women feel and own within ourselves. Our smiles, are often buried deep within the infrastructure of "maintaining" when odds are stacked against us. It is popular to say but is also very true that black women have more stacked against them on two levels: 1. She is a woman and 2. She is a black woman. For far too long this has been seen as a burden on us and that saddens me.
Our infamous attitudes, common to ALL WOMEN, are one of three things at any given time depending on the person: 1. Misunderstood 2. Warranted or 3. Unnecessary. While, many will choose to only agree with number three the other two must be taken into consideration.
The Unnecessary attitude is the one that happens because it is a habit, she's used to seeing it and giving it. She's been taught that this is the way you have to be in order to get things done. What bothers me is that on any other woman this is considered "spunk" "moxy" or just being "feisty" and its treated with admiration.
The Warranted attitude is one that is the fitting response to being legitimately wronged or annoyed. Period.
The Misunderstood attitude is the one that concerns me most and whose definition has yet to be accepted. This is not an excuse of any kind. This attitude is the attitude of the mother who knows her children can do better in school and punishes them when they bring home a grade less than their abilities. This woman has heard you speak, craft tricky ways to get out of doing things, found creative legal ways to make extra cash, tally up $$ and how long it would take to have enough for those sneakers or game you wanted. She is pissed that you have decided to waste your brain power, the same brain power that powered and built nations for centuries. She has a right to want more for you; so, to stand by and watch you have no aspirations but to just get by and take the quick and easy way out gives her an ATTITUDE!
So yes, I will have an attitude and NOT smile when I see you my "brother" wasting your life. The street corners of NY have some of the very best entrepreneurs in the world who have yet to understand their own abilities and potentials if they'd only go legit! The amount of unstoppable youth our world would have if its black women would learn to love themselves outside of what the world has told them is "true beauty"- we were born with true beauty stitched into our genes- would be astounding! A woman who values her self, regardless of outside opinion rears children who do the same. So, change your look for excitement NOT for the feeling of necessity and fitting into the portrayed beauty mold. I'll say it, conformity to a lie is UGLY!
A white, hispanic or asian woman will not solve the problem you have sir. The problem you have is that you've fallen victim to laziness, you've stopped trying but still expect a pat on the back and kudos for doing what you YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD. We, as your black women should push you toward excellence as we strive for it ourselves. When we both understand the roles we play in eachother's existence that is when the Black Woman Will Smile and the Black Man Will Rise.
A Black Woman's Smile <-- Check out this video, I am sure you've seen it before.
There is so much more I would love to say on this but I want to hear from you.
If you're single and your friends keep trying to hook you up, this is for you. If you attend family functions and they constantly ask you about your romantic life and babies, this is for you.
If you're always trying to hook all your friends up so that they're not alone, this advice is for you too.
Enjoy :)
Click the link: I'm Single, Do I Have to Mingle?
For years I've wondered why we feel the urge to compare our Ex's new person to ourselves. Why?
We compare body type, facial beauty or attractiveness, style of dress but taking it further we do the whole social media search. I'm telling you, the FBI or Secret Service could hire some of us with the serious super sleuthing skills we possess! You KNOW you've done it, haha, I'll admit I've done it too. Men, don't laugh because you do it too and some of you are probably in the process of doing it right now!
Again, I ask why? Does it really matter who they're with after us? Maybe it's a matter of closure or us wanting to know where we didn't measure up? Should we improve? There are many questions here but the main one I will focus on is:
"Why tear the NEXT down just because you're the EX?" Truth is she/he could be the most gorgeous person EVER or look like the Blobfish- it does not matter! What matters is that they're NOT with you (us). I don't mean to be harsh but what I want us to understand is that it's not necessarily a bad thing. Both of you have the possibility to do better, clearing opportunity for the PERFECT ONE FOR YOU to come into your life. Take note that I said "perfect for you" not "perfect person". No one is perfect but some people just FIT together.
Below are lyrics from a song but they're all too familiar in everyday conversation. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've heard something like this and I will admit, I have succumb to it in the past. ("She Can't Love You" by Destiny's Child)
Could we all agree that looking behind takes the focus off of moving ahead? I think we could. So why stay focused on the Ex and their new "Boo"? They've moved on and so should you! Don't get me wrong, a broken or bruised heart needs time to heal and that's the reason you should NEVER jump right into another relationship after a breakup. Spend that time learning more about yourself, going after dreams, planning your life, finishing things you've started, reconnecting with family and friends, etc. If you don't do any of this you run the risk of looking pathetic, dependent and lost BUT you're stronger than that!
It's true some of us really do need Boyfriend/Girlfriend Rehabilitation Services... There might be an app for that! (haha)
After you get the 'app' and have begun to heal its time to let go of them, both your Ex and the unhealthy obsession with the new love interest. Take time to evaluate the relationship you had. What was the good you would like to keep and enjoy in another relationship? What was the bad that you will not and cannot accept? What did you bring to the table and what can you now bring to the table (after you've had time to yourself- being a BETTER YOU)? Lastly, what are some things you expect your future mate to bring to the table? (Keep in mind, people have faults so expecting absolute perfection is ludicrous).
I want to hear from you, COMMENT below.
